Rate the Last Movie You've Seen!
  • The Human Centipede Trilogy - Yeah, well, I guess if that's what you're into. The first movie wasn't completely awful, but the sequels were total garbage. I had heard how gross these movies are so was a little underwhelmed when I finally saw what all the fuss was about.

    I haven't seen Blade Runner 2049 yet and will probably wait to see it for free like everything else. The first movie was boring as fuck but the Blade Runner world was cool.
  • Man, if you thought Blade Runner was boring, you are going to hate 2049. Good movie, but slow slow movie. Also, watching it pirated, with like four pixels, is really going to deny you any appreciation of the wide shots. But hey, you do you.
  • DVD quality is free or very close to it, if you have the patience to wait. I don't need to see it right now lest I hyperventilate in excitement, because I'm a somewhat functional adult capable of deferring gratification.
  • The Bad Batch

    Terrible and boring. Takes itself way too seriously and everything everything everything takes waaaaaaay too long. I should have heeded goodenoughs warning. I have paid the price.

    Every event in the plot requires accidents and strokes of luck. It is like it was written by a being new to the ideas of time and causality. It has zero interesting things to say. Let me please spoil it for you. What happens when you lock people in a prison with no food? Terrible shit. Duh.

    Do not let the trailer or cast fool you. This movie is not just horrible. I would put it on the list with Transformers 2. Art crime.
  • And another fucking thing, no cannibal ever has removed limbs one at a time, and closed the amputation. Do you see a bunch of three and two legged cows hanging around? When you are gonna eat a critter, you gut and dress the whole thing. It is like the stupid urban myth of waking up in a tub of ice after "they" steal a kidney. If somebody is going to take an organ, they will take what they like and kill you. There are seven billion humans on Earth and waking up, missing a kidney, where the robbers expertly closed the wound has happened zero times ever.

    That Stephen King story where the surgeon on a desert island eats his limbs is cool, but impossible. You lose more calories in blood loss than you will ever recoup from the meat. Cool story though. Bad Batch is not cool. It is stupid at every level.
  • Justice League

    It's bad. It's dreary. Other than Wonder Woman, it has zero compelling characters. The villain is bland CGI, and the CGI is terrible. How you can spend this much for an ugly movie is ohmazin. The Joss added scenes are jarring and out of place. The whole thing has a dark knight vibe, and you end on the speed race? Your crap is better than Zacks crap, but the crap don't go together. Bad bad movie.
    It is nowhere near as bad as Murder Man V Mopey Man. MovieBob has a couple of videos on Dawn of Justice that go over all the ways that movie sucks. Just Bob reading a plot synopsis made me want to jump out a window. DC movies are mostly ugly, dull, and joyless. Marvel has a schtick. A watchable, fun, schtick, based on the classic source material, not on post modern, committee made amalgamations of garbage.
  • Although I didn't dislike Justice league as much as most. I thought it was enjoyable for what it was. I'm not going to be an apologist for the film, don't get me wrong. It's a bad film. Every thing you have said above is true. Affleck just didn't want to be there. He half arsed every scene. But ultimately I enjoyed what i watched and I still what to see where the franchise goes. I know I must be dumb.
  • Rifftrax: The Dalek Invasion of Earth 2150 A.D.

    First of all, do not confuse this with The Dalek Invasion of Earth 2150 B.C. Dr Who plus MST3K plus Peter Cushing is the greatest trinity of pop culture since Batman plus Scooby Doo plus Weird Al. It works really well. Non canonical Dr Who is perfect for MST3K. The Daleks are armed with fire extinguishers. Literally. It is so awesome. Any country that makes Sting a knight deserves to be invaded by Daleks. That this just exists makes me so happy. That it is actually a strong episode of Rifftrax is a Christmas miracle. God bless us, every one.

    My personal favorite MST3K moment in my own life was going to see the D and D movie with friends and yelling at the screen. Example: Don't go in there! You don't have any graph paper! You can't map!
  • Never thought I'd see the day. Worse than Phantom Menace is hard to imagine. Like actually difficult. Does Will Wheaton voice a CGI Wesley Crusher, who warps in, and brings balance to the force via math, naivete and earnestness?
  • Interestingly enough, it's on pace to be the lowest scored SW movie on IMDB since episode 2 maybe. This is actually a weird inverse where the critics appear to like it more than the fans. The score should be super high right now because they're always inflated early on when the fans are going and giving it tens. Force Awakens was like 8.8 at this point before settling at 8.1ish. Last Jedi is already at 8.1. You can take a lot of tenths off that for when it settles in about 12 months.
  • No it is not worse than phantom menace , there are gaps of logic and lots of over dramatic scenes, but is not as bad as some people say, i didn't expect a masterpiece, rogue one is still the best of the bunch
  • And what the living fuck was up with those kids, straight out a Michael Jackson video? We actually ended on one of those. If Michael Jackson had walked out of the shadows and dance/sung Smooth Criminal, it would have been creepy as fuck, and totally fit the tone. Lord, the tonal shifts in this movie are jarring as fuck. I did not have to wait to dislike this film. That Beavis and Butthead joke at the beginning showed how little they understand Star Wars, or just making a movie. Looper sucked and Rian Johnson is a hack. His jokes are not funny and you only laugh when he tries to get serious.

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