• While the "should gay people be treated like real humans and be allowed to marry, and more importantly why do I think my opinion matters in the slightest anyway?" farce of a debate rages on in various parts of the world, the Japanese are questioning whether anyone should bother getting married at all. Around 20% of young people have absolutely zero interest in ever marrying, and roughly 30-35% of young people have no interest in sex according to the studies. We have "herbivore men" turning their backs on the traditional life path, and women have been given the impossible task of becoming full time workers and baby factories by the state, because they've found themselves in the unfortunate position of needing more bodies to tax to fund their collapsing Ponzi economy, but not wanting to bring in too many foreigners because they'd despoil Japan's fair lands and values like the radioactive Fukushima and schoolgirl tentacle rape porn. 

    Anyway, how do people here feel about marriage? Do you want to marry? What is the future of marriage? Will it survive or be tossed aside by future generations? Elaborate if it suits you.
    1. Are you down with marriage?15 votes
      1. Nay
    Noobied by 2sloth shozaya
  • All I can tell you is that that once multiple children enter the picture, it is all about labor. There are not enough hours in the day. You just want a good teammate. "You complete me." is a laughable sentence once shit gets real and tiny, seemingly death seeking humans depend on you. If the only other person in the canoe is rowing like mad, you love them. My view of marriage is somewhat myopic at this point. Many many more stages to go. It is hilarious that I get to use the same word as folks who have been together for half a century.
    Noobied by 2sloth tallchick
  • So do you feel it's necessary westsw? If you weren't married would anything be different?
    Noobied by 1sloth
  • I like marriages and feel that they're a great way to bind people through even the tough times. A bit of common sense needs to be involved here where there's not too much tough times but that's up to people to decide on and their at times warped thresholds shouldn't be attributed back to the whole marriage concept but rather the individuals themselves.

    I feel that marriage is important at times for equality and legality reasons. I've heard horror stories where a husband was shut out from their dying spouse's hospital room because of an insanely horrible immediate family who had the right to deny those without the proper documented legal/familial ties.

    Personally, after a previous 3.5 year ring-on-my-finger stint, I would never get married again so I'm the nay vote. I've had this talk with my current partner who I'm basically buying a house with. I don't want to get married because I do not feel that it is necessary in my life. Although very positive events, I do not want to afford a wedding and do not feel the need to celebrate my personal relationship with anybody beyond my partner. If we want to catch up with friends and family, we'll do one on ones so that we can properly talk to them and really talk to them to see what's up in their lives. I hate the idea of a wedding and especially the associated costs that I would rather spend more constructively. As long as we have some sort of de facto, legal binding after a decade or two so that when we're old, we can be justified to third parties for health, estate and legal reasons; that's all I need.

    However, I would be open to marrying when we're old and one of our 6yo kids can be the ring bearer. Then I feel that a wedding would be worthwhile as it would be less a binding of two but more a celebration of the life lived by two with all the people that had a part in it.

    But practically, day-to-day, I could not give a shit about being married and would like not to be again in my twenties or thirties.

    I honestly think that people would be happier having longer relationships where you really date the person instead of getting hitched and getting into that dangerous "settled" mindset. I know that this is more to the individual but something that I'd like to be very cognisant and evasive of.

    PS. If we're all still single in twenty years and this forum is still going, we could default into marriages with each other if we'd like.
  • If I were not married things would be massively different. Marriage is clearly not mandatory, but affords many advantages in presenting a relationship as legally recognized, especially in regards to children. Child rearing is a crushingly important unpaid gig.
    Noobied by 1sloth
  • And the lord sayeth: "As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it." nothing about marriage there, to spread ones seed is holy work :P
    Noobied by 1sloth
  • My reason why im against marraige

    Forced to pay alimony  to your ex partner in case of divorce, or you end up in jail.


    Wedding in itself  can be really expensive. Since most peole are not content with simple things.
    wedding rings
    wedding Party
    wedding clothes
    Wedding cake

    In some cases pay air tickets, train tickets e.tc for family and friends. (10-u to 100)


    54% of all married ends in up divorce. 70% of these are from the woman side .. Reason = unhappy


    in the event of divorce, the risk is much higher that the man loses his home, half of his money.  But most  imoportant his kids...(Singel mother wave in usa and uk)

    If you sign a marriage contract, You can very well end up taking over your partner loans.

    If you really love each other, it should not be necessary to fill in a contract which may well hurt your partner.

    Noobied by 3Juic3 Dr Flibble sloth
  • Marriage is horse shit.

    @zebure nailed most of the reasons. Yes there are some advantages to marriage in the legal system, but it mostly just brings you headaches.

    Why continue with an outdated tradition? I think this generation is more inclined to live with a partner rather they truly enjoy than have to make it official. Safe to say there is still a great amount of women that have the big wedding in mind since they were little ones, but the trend of moving in together and just being content is becoming more and more prevalent (at least in the West).

    People are dynamic. They change, grow, and change opinions of one another. Whether it is 2 years into a relationship or 30, feelings can change. There is no reason to risk a financial disaster just to make it "official." That's just my take on it.
    Noobied by 3Dr Flibble zebure sloth
  • I had a cheap wedding because I married a sane human. The ceremony is literally the least important part. A lot of these complaints seem to be about marrying an asshole. Marriage is a massive committment, second only to children. If you do not want to be responsible for such projects, do not start them. A massive part of being a good father is keeping their mother happy. If you can't figure that out, manhood may not be for you. Conflating your fear with the institutions right to exist is silly. Marriage may or not be for you.
  • I just want to marry pizza.
    Noobied by 2sloth zebure
  • Back to gaming topics :)
    Noobied by 1sloth
  • Lots of people get married who have no business getting married. In the US, divorce is highest in the bible belt because folks get married too early. I absolutely think you should live together first. Making the woman happy is not the only goal, but it is required if you want to make a go of it. As a 17 year old, I thought the getting a woman was hard. But courting pales in comparison to the work required to keep things going. My wife works her ass off with my offspring, what does she not deserve for that? My wife makes me very happy. It just seems like some of the young man posts have been self centered, where manhood entails putting several other people before you in importance.
    Noobied by 2laphamking sloth
  • westswAll you can do as a married couple, you can also do in a normal relationship. The only difference is that you sign a contract, a contract of which the state has a hand in.

    But i respect your choice :)
    Noobied by 1sloth
  • It changes taxes, medical decision making, inheretance, and a million other legal things. Like it or not, you live in a state.

    My wife has a PhD from Harvard. She is choosing to raise my kids and deserves some reassurance this is not some fly by night operation. You are approaching this as a person who thinks they are risking income without considering all the unpaid labor the other member is contributing.
    Noobied by 1sloth
  • What does she have a PhD in?
    Noobied by 1sloth
  • Psychology, she did vision research. She knows more about the back half of the brain than I do. Ah memories, if there is anything sexier than a NIH grant proposal to shove off a kitchen table before you have sex on it, I do not know what that might be.
    Noobied by 1sloth
  • Well this thread went in a direction I wouldn't have expected!
    Noobied by 2sloth zebure
  • What were you expecting Littleg? You're one of the married NTers, how do you feel about it?

    I'm surprised the poll is an even split. It's also interesting to see what makes people tick.
    Noobied by 1sloth
  • Some people need marriage for validation, security, & offspring. That's completely fine, but others feel just as valid with their partner without marriage. Not saying it should be eliminated as a whole, people have the right to that security; others just don't find it necessary to express devotion.

    If my partner was unsure of my love and needed a legal doc to prove it, she will be very disappointed with my response.

    Like I said in my previous post, people change. I could feel differently of the subject 10 years from now, but that's the whole point of my argument. The only thing static is the document.
    Noobied by 2zebure sloth
  • Ha, it was just the academic research sexytime that took me by surprise, Flib.  Nothing else :-) .

    As for me, everyone should be free to do whatever makes them happy, at the end of the day.  The current government laws (particularly in the UK these days) put all kinds of financial incentives on marriage, and that goes double if you have kids.  So, even if you consider it a contract that (like all contracts) can be torn up at any time, it kind of makes sense to do it regardless.

    Speaking from an emotional point of view, I like the idea of a public declaration that there is one person in my life that I will spend the rest of it with.  Of course, we will all grow and change, but the challenge and hard work of changing alongside another person and making it work so that you both can continue to be happy and, by extension, offer your kids a stable, happy childhood is an enormous reward unto itself.

    Two things to note:  I'm not actually married, just engaged.  We got that far, then house moves, then kids came along and we have never got round to it.  That's tax money we're leaving on the table!!!!!  Also, I wouldn't let the wedding itself have any impact upon your view of marriage - that's one day in a life-long commitment.  Yes it may work out expensive if that's what you and your partner decide you want, but just you wait until you buy a house that needs significant renovation or even have a kid or two...
  • Marriage today is an extremely risky initiative which not everyone wants to do today. ">Yes, you can get tax cut to save money, but is it really the reason why you should  get marry?
    ">Beside it is proven that those who do not marry save significantly more money
    than those who are married (wedding 1-2 gold wedding, more common to
    acquire houses, take out loans, shared study loan, new family car e.tc)


    Yes there are a few more reasons to get married. But if they really were so good, why are there so few who choose to get married?
    ">Again .. It's too risky.

    Noobied by 1sloth
  • I think part of this male resentment of marriage is actually part of a larger resentment of loss of male power. Men used to literally own their wives. Even in the 1950s, the husband ruled the home. The world has gotten more fair, as a white guy, I suggest letting go of a model that gave you massive favoritism for no other reason than white guys already had all the power. Momentum is not justice. Women are kicking our butts in education and productivity in the work force. Guys still have advantages, but we are losing ground on merit. If your response is to give the fuck up, well enjoy your mama's basement boy.
    Noobied by 1sloth
  • Be careful not to get sperm-jacked Epke, child support will financially destroy you as much if not more than a divorce.
    Noobied by 3zebure sloth Juic3
  • I did not know the reason why people do not want to sign a contract to prove that you love your partner, is because of something our white ancestors had?
    But if you're not a white man, let's say a Japanese woman that wants to play video games and work. Should we force her and shame her until get she married? No, we can not do it. In the same way, we can not force  and shame any other group.

    This has nothing to do with something which you think existed( race, sex powe e.tc). It has do do with  choices in life.
    And for many people out there, marriage isnt something that are on there list on things to do in life,
    especially if they already have a working relationship with a man or female that dont want to get marraige, due of the high risky factor.. Divorce.. Alimony,

    You know what? This has been a very interesting discussion, and although we have different opinions :) still been fun talking.

    Noobied by 1sloth

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