Polite Euphamisms
  • We live in a world where the social norm is that we generally are polite and civil to one another. Or try not to gross one another out.

    So there's a thing that comes out in our speech quite often that makes life easier: it's the polite euphamism. You know, that thing you say when you don't want to offend or hurt someone, or gross them out.

    Living life as a woman, there are several I employ at a certain time of the month (< like that).

    'Aunt Flo is visiting.'
    'I got a gift from Ma Nature.'
    'The end of my sentence. Nope, not death.'
    'The Red Tide'

    Too much? Sorry.....

    Anyway.... What's your favourite? Or which do you use regularly?
  • image

    can't think of any
  • I always thought "powder my nose" was funny.
  • i don't know something like, i have to send my food out to sea?
  • Bout to go Alabama......y'kno......CRIMSON TIDE!!
    Get in the car i'm gonna go visit my good friend Maxi.
    Lady and the Tamp.
    Yes I made those up just now.
  • "The lights are on but someone's halfway out the back door" - I've heard this said around here a few times but I don't think it's common otherwise. I like it though.

    "Chances are slim to none, and slim just left town." - no chance or shit outta luck

    "a sticky wicket" - difficult situation. I think it sounds cute. :p
  • Brisby said:

    "a sticky wicket" - difficult situation. I think it sounds cute. :p

    if i understood what tallchic meant was making something unpleasant sound more pleasant. in my mind a sticky wicket does the opposite.
  • To folks such as myself, Euphamisms are made for just the opposite, their made to gross ppl out!! The one I hear the most is 'I'm gonna go drop a deuce'. I'm sure we all know what that means (I need to go number 2!!). There was lots of others I used and heard in my college days but... I can't think of any.
  • so drop a deuce grosses you out more than take a shit? honestly i dont see the difference there.
  • My faves:

    falling to the Reds
    That time of the month where I am not at my best because I am bleeding from my vagina.
  • I swear my kids really think that they have an Aunt Flow that visits me every month but only when they are sleeping. Other than that... I got me a my little pony- means fucked dude with small ____. I was praying to the Gods-got fubar. Another one of my fav's is hey did you rtfb (read the fucking book). Much nicer then telling someone that they are a dumb ass imo.
  • sorta surprised to not have seen this yet...

    Hot Coffee.
  • Crikey! Check out my one-eyed trouser snake!

    I'm off to shake hands with the unemployed.

    Well, there's no chance of picking up, the night's a washout, I'm gonna go home and burp the baby.

    I gotta go drop the kids off at the pool.

    Urrgh, time to use the great white telephone to God.

    Yep, I'm driving the porcelain bus.

    I'm gonna ralph / chuck / T.C.* / do a technicolour rainbow.

    You got two chances, buddy - buckley's and none.

    'A sticky wicket' was an English cricket term, but is now more commonly used to describe a difficult situation. Not gross at all.


    * T.C. = tactical chunder.
  • somebody needs to wash your mouth out!! lol j/p
  • I am amazed I haven't heard the old standby

    "I need to see a man about a horse." For gents that need to go to the washroom.

    There's also "Number 1" and "Number 2"

    'Powder my nose' is not one I use commonly but have done so once or twice at super fancy occasions for some odd reason.
  • I've got another:
    I am bleeding out of my snatch
  • to a Chinese man that would count as a euphamism
  • I'm a fan of the classic
    "and then the shit hit the fan."

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