Dealing With Death
  • Have you ever had a loved one die??? How did you cope??? I will be losing some loved ones soon and want to know how you got through it.
  • to put it bluntly you just have to get on with your life, it can seem easy to hide your self away but that just makes you swallow your feelings up. Even if you've got no school or work to go to, do something else go out and eat, get your ass up and go jogging but for fucks sake don't just sit inside all day thinking about it. Go to the funeral and make your peace with it in anyway you can, don't leave anything hanging over, do what you have to do when your there and if it helps speak your mind.
    The truth is you never really will get over it but you can still enjoy life regardless of what happend.
  • I find myself truely lucky enough to not have to go through this yet. Any loved ones who have died have passed away when I was too young to really understand and they were distant relatives that I did not know very well.

    I bawled my eyes out for days when one of my cat's kitten who we only had for a week died. I could probably still bring myself to tears if I thought about the cats we had for many years that passed away. I would probably have a complete breakdown if someone close to me passed away.
    At work, I worked at a house where a woman had been doing pretty badly all summer. They thought she was going to pass away the night I worked there, and we had to constantly check up on her. She ended up passing away later that day after my shift, but it was actually the only time I have truely witnessed someone passing away before me.

    The only advice I feel I could give you is to treasure the good times. You're supposed to be sad. Not being sad means you really had no connection. ‎"There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love." -Martin Luther King Jr.
    Mourning is a process, and it will pass. Can only tell you to keep on living your life as that is what they would have wanted.
  • GreyAcumen said:
    I will be losing some loved ones soon.


    How many of your 'loved ones' are you planning to kill?
  • You cry a little bit and then you move on. If you see it coming then that means that you will have time to make your peace with them and say your good by before they pass. Other than that... there is not anything that you can do. At some point you will come out of your hole that you hide in and move on.

    I have lost many loved ones over the years. Some of them I was very close to others not so much and was just saddened because it was family. When someone that you care about allot passes it will feel like you have fallen into a hole that there is no escape from but at some point you will and when you do you will move and remember the good and bad times you had with the person(s) that you have lost.
  • Dr Flibble said:
    How many of your 'loved ones' are you planning to kill?


    Dude, thats a little dark considering the serious issue in this thread, I know you meant it as a joke but still...
  • When I lose loved ones, I take them to a taxidermist.
  • You should have put a link in taxidermist Karnage that way there is no confusion about where you are taking them. For all we know someone might think that you are talking about a place that taxes are done. With that said... If you don't know what it is use google.
  • jaded_sapphire said:
    You should have put a link in taxidermist Karnage that way there is no confusion about where you are taking them. For all we know someone might think that you are talking about a place that taxes are done. With that said... If you don't know what it is use google.


    No, anybody who isn't a moron would know what I was talking about.
  • If KK dies, I'm going to have him stuffed and mounted. Then I'll hang on him on my wall.
  • Tsuyoi said:
    If KK dies, I'm going to have him stuffed and mounted. Then I'll hang on him on my wall.


    Ow, ow baby ;)
  • Karnage said:
    No, anybody who isn't a moron would know what I was talking about.

    Well EXCUSE ME for not knowing every word in the dictionary and not having English as my first language.
    BTW remember that little rule we have here? DBAD?
  • monochromaticx said:
    Well EXCUSE ME for not knowing every word in the dictionary and not having English as my first language.
    BTW remember that little rule we have here? DBAD?


    Excuse not granted.
  • GreyAcumen said:
    Have you ever had a loved one die??? How did you cope??? I will be losing some loved ones soon and want to know how you got through it.


    samurai's don't mourn for the dead
  • Dr Flibble said:
    How many of your 'loved ones' are you planning to kill?


    im sorry I couldn't help but laugh at this.
  • ColtTheGamR said:
    Dude, thats a little dark considering the serious issue in this thread, I know you meant it as a joke but still...


    That depends on how seriously you take the poster in question. And you have to admit his wording was not normal and very creepy. I will be losing some loved ones soon... WTF does that mean? Who says that? Why is it plural, and how does he know this group of people are going to die? The answer is quite obvious: he is planning to off them himself. My post was as serious as his OP deserves :p
  • monochromaticx said:
    Well EXCUSE ME for not knowing every word in the dictionary and not having English as my first language.
    BTW remember that little rule we have here? DBAD?


    i dont think he was BAD anyone who knows english knows what the word means. if you dont then google will tell you.
  • There are a lot of people that know english that still don't know that word. Its not like taxidermy is something that is used very much anymore. It something that is used allot anymore.
  • Dr Flibble said:
    That depends on how seriously you take the poster in question. And you have to admit his wording was not normal and very creepy. I will be losing some loved ones soon... WTF does that mean? Who says that? Why is it plural, and how does he know this group of people are going to die? The answer is quite obvious: he is planning to off them himself. My post was as serious as his OP deserves :p

    I am not planning on killing anyone I would mourn but this is about mourning so those people that wronged me are not a factor
  • OK I'm sorry I have to agree with Flibble's post which you quoted... the whole murderous aspect of your tone is a little creepy.

    But in all seriousness, I would suggest that--if you're having a hard time mourning the individuals you speak of--you avail yourself of the (often free) counseling services many hospitals, funeral parlours, religious institutions, even workplaces offer to deal with your grief. Sometimes it's not easy letting go. But you have to understand that it will be ok, and you can go on and move forward with life and be happy. Focus on the good times you enjoyed with that person. Let them be fond memories. Stay positive and be mindful of the fact that if they are your loved ones, they care about you too and would likely want you to find your happiness and not be sad for them.

    Take care and best for the future.
  • I had my twin brother die unexpectedly last year. I won't lie to you it ruined me. I wish I had a chance to make my peace with my brother before he died. I mean he really unexpectedly died too. My mother called me at 3:00am to inform me and I got onto my computer and my brother had actually nudged me on MSN at 5:11pm and I had missed him.

    I took his death hard. I took a couple of days off before returning to work but I was still visibly shaken. They ended up giving me a month off and when I came back I was put on the cushiest account in the building. I stopped eating and I lost a SHIT ton of weight. I'm talking I went down from about 390 to 265 in the span of about 4 or 5 months.

    Don't let this scare you though. You have the opportunity to make peace with your loved one. I know its fucked but you're in an enviable position... at least from my perspective. Just remember that who ever this person is they wouldn't want you to put your life on hold on account of them. It's gonna suck but don't get hung up on it. As someone said earlier you're gonna cry and then move on.

    And the reason I took my brothers death so hard is because he was without question my best friend. I told him everything. He was my confidant and we talked about everything with each other. There was nothing I kept from him. But his death hit me a second time about 6 months after. I thought I was over it but then I was having female problems one day and it hit me that the person who I went to with my female problems was no longer there. I felt like I had no one to talk to about my most personal shit and I lost it again. Anyway to make a long story short I ended up opening up to a few of my friends and just started trusting more people in general.

    This may sound fucked up but ultimately it was a positive experience in my life. Of course I wish my brother were still alive. But on the positive side I've managed to keep the weight off no problem and I've had unprecedented success with the opposite sex. My only regret is it took my brother's death to realize how great life can be.

    Anyway, I'm sorry for you're loss. You're gonna realize we all gotta die some day and you're going to make the best of the time you have left... assuming you haven't already.

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