Rate the Last Movie You've Seen!
  • There's an old Australian movie (mid-90's) called "Children of the Revolution" if comedy about Stalin is your thing.

    I watched "Altered Carbon" and "Black Mirror" on Netflix while mindlessly grinding Monster Hunter and have to say I rather enjoyed both of them. Altered Carbon was a bit silly in parts but overall a good time. Cyberpunk rarely gets done at all let alone well so this was good to see. Black Mirror was fucking excellent. It's like a modern sci-fi Twilight Zone.
  • Pacific Rim: Uprising

    Kinda bad. I liked it, but I cannot really defend it. I like giant robots punching Godzilla so much that if you cannot make it suck like Transformers, then I will find it passable. No Del Toro means much less personality and less interesting visuals. It does try to have an original idea or two, but they are basically dumb. If you loved the first one as much as I did, then check it out. If you did not like the first one, then every sentence of this paragraph beyond the first two have been a waste of your time and I apologize.
  • The Wailing: 7/10

    Gory, yucky demonic fest. Compelling, human, flawed main character who manages to be both incompetent and distant but strangely relatable. Some of the humor comes at odd times, and some of the tragedy seems a bit over the top in how sudden and coincidental it is. Very dark film; by the end, you feel like you need to wash yourself off. It's a film that says nothing but that humanity is cruel and unjust no matter your age or wealth or religion or job. A lot of feints early on about nationalism and traditionalism but the back part of it really drops a lot of character turns and shows that it's really just about humanity as a whole. Most of the revelations are effective. Enjoyable, grisly film, not quite great but will keep your interest from front to back.
  • Mute: 4/10

    A visually appealing if rote piece, Mute suffers from a host of try hard factors, a lack of any compelling message, and a host of dodgy coincidences. Paul Rudd and Alexander Skarsgard all glare at the camera with bulging eyes, Rudd dropping heavy handed swear words and emptying himself of all the hate and spite in him, but it feels forced. It's one of those movies that attempts to be transgressive and controversial without any reason as to why. Murder, pedophilia, and more are all on display, but none are treated as more than passing glances of depravity or, even in some cases, shock punchlines. Where this movie is at its best is when it comes tantalizingly close to saying something. Leo's mute characters stumbles around a futuristic world that still puts up barriers to his existence; a fast food place that delivers by drone only takes order by voice, for example. But the movie only scratches at that surface a few other times. There's even some cheesy slow mo and flashbacks to make sure the viewer gets everything. There's a silly breath holding coincidence that summons flashbacks to Signs or something similar. Other than the cool if typical pastiche of clubs and use of color and makeup, a decent soundtrack, and a few compelling side characters, particularly the underutilized Maksim and Naadirah, who come off as natural and comfortable and world-fitting, this movie flounders too much.
  • Ready Player One

    Beautiful and empty. It is pretty and visually overstuffed, but it has almost no ideas of its own. The pop references are non stop, but make no impact. Even Spielberg using a Kubrick film, which should be amazing, sort of goes nowhere.

    The story is pure Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. But imagine you get inside the factory and it turns out Willy Wonka loves Wizard of Oz and Alice in Wonderland. You would wonder where the original ideas were. The Oasis is all other people's ideas. It does not go anywhere new with all the stuff it borrows. Roger Rabbit borrowed hundreds of characters AND built a whole other world on top of all of that. Roger Rabbit used the source material in service of new ideas. Wreck it Ralph borrowed a ton and built a whole world of new ideas. Ready Player One has no new ideas. It is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, only with a factory full of 90s nostalgia.

    It is weird to have a video game movie that does not make me want to play a game. It is weird to see Spielberg so unoriginal. It is not a badly made movie, but it is dissapointing.
  • Spielberg figured "Hey, if George and Disney can do it with Star Wars surely I can too". 
  • Ubisoft's marketing team can make better game-based movies than Uwe Boll. 

    This is a short movie style introduction to the nutters at Eden's Gate. 

  • Man, Black Mirror is excellent. Glad you enjoyed it Flibbs.

    As for me?

    Insidious: The Last Key (7/10)

    Rented this on my Xbox and gave it a watch, since this is my favourite modern horror series next to The Conjuring right now. I enjoyed it, albeit the critics taking a collective dump on it. It's not as good as the first film. Hell, none of the sequels were as good as the first, but I find that can be standard horror sequel fare (unless you're Ouija or Annabelle. Their sequels/prequels were immensely better than the originals). The main antagonist demon was a bit lame, and I haven't found myself enjoying any of the baddies since the Black Dress Ghost and Red Faced Darth Maul demon from the original.

    Still though, I have a lot of fun with the Insidious films. If I could rank the four of them as they stand now I'd probably go:

    • Insidious
    • Insidious Chapter 3
    • Insidious: The Last Key
    • Insidious Chapter 2
    This one does however tie up some interesting plot points as it takes place not too long before the original film and has some cool significance to that weird, red door found in the attic of the first film. That was a cool little touch and that events from this film cause the events of the original film. 

    If you've enjoyed the Insidious films you'll no doubt have fun here, and it made enough money to warrant another film in the series, and I'm totally okay with that.
  • A Quiet Place -- 7/10

    Snappy, quick moving, largely successful horror movie. Not exploitative or cheap, nothing profound, no big thematic elements, just 90 minutes of brisk pace and high risk moments. Cool monsters, good, grounded acting and writing, only a couple melodramatic moments, maybe one hamfisted imagery moment, but fantastic use of sound throughout - both music and effects - and a really badass final shot sequence. It's nothing that will rock your world but it's fun and the movie theatre experience is worthwhile for this; the off and on again silence is neat to behold. Fun and effective movie.
  • I just got out of A Quiet Place and I'm left with so many question.  So many things go entirely unexplained, such as the elderly couple in the woods, the origin of the creatures, why the daughter wasn't allowed in the basement, what exactly was up with the "magic hearing-aid" just to name a few.  The bigger problem I have is that the movie literally ended right before the climax.  And I don't really buy the whole 'left open to interpretation' as it's more of a cop out, especially in this scenario.  I will say that the pacing was good, and the audio was great.  Suspense was also on point.  But yeah, I came out if it feeling like I was missing a whole lot.  Probably would give it somewhere around a 5/10
  • The Shape of Water -- 6/10

    Strangely disappointing. The beginning of the relationship felt very rushed and quickly developed into order to move to the thriller part of the plot. I appreciated the schlocky, mid-20th century French romance vibe, but it was very inconsistently applied. Most of the bad guys felt at times like they over acted, lots of harshly strained lines as the movie went on, while most everyone else was on point, particularly the main 3 protagonists. Russian scientist dude was also pretty good. The entire end sequence was both completely predictable and cliché. The musical dance bit was very fun and courageous. I just didn't feel too terribly attached, and while I appreciated the ideas and most of the execution, I can't say it affected me nearly as much as, say, Pan's Labyrinth.
  • Yeah, Grinding Nemo is a very good movie, but it seems an odd pick for the Oscar. I liked it a bunch, but I like other Del Toro better. Pan's Labrinyth is a better, and far more original movie. No, he won't even know your name.  Such a shame we will never see 3993.  I feel like there are many alternate universes where Del Toro has made all the movies I want, I just have to tolerate being oppressed by sentient carrots and such.  Pan's Labrinyth lost to The Lives of Others, one of my favorite movies of all time.  Both were better than The Departed, but by that point, the Academy felt it owed like three Oscars to that guy.
  • Isle of Dogs

    It is beautiful, it looks handmade, it has touching moments, I wanted to like it.... and then it turned into a mess at the end.  It was Life Aquatic all over again.  I am a big Wes Anderson apologist, but this goes in the heap with Life Aquatic and The Darjeeling Limited.  Sometimes Wes pulls it off, sometimes he does not.  I rate this a miss, which is especially disappointing, because I think The Fantastic Mr Fox is the most adorable little movie and I sometimes want to live there.  Anyhoo, Honest Trailers did a really well thought out and funny takedown of Wes Anderson.  The stacks at the end are brilliant.  I love Wes Anderson and all of their criticisms are 100% true.

  • Pan's Labrinyth, The Lives of Others, and Children of Men all came out in 2006, and all (sadly) were better than The Departed. I really hate the "better late than never" awards. 
  • Rampage - 6/10

    Dumb as shit, terrible writing, but it makes up for it by being just a bucket of fun. It definitely strays far from the source material, but I don't think anybody was expecting a cinematic masterpiece.

  • Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay

    It is good, not great.  The previous animated Suicide Squad was better, both are better than the disappointing live action affair.

    It is weird as Hell to me that Warner Brothers has a made alot of great animated DC, but has not made anything live action worth watching since Dark Knight (an overrated but very good movie).  They clearly have good writers.  They do not have to make crap that ranges from disappointing to incoherent.  They have Paul Dini's phone number.  I have said it before and I will say it again: Flashpoint Paradox is a wonderful movie.  It is a direct to video animated movie that may also be my favorite DC movie.  There is a Justice League movie waiting to be made that I would love.  I do not think they can pull off a live action Flashpoint Paradox with their current castings.

    I think Warner Brothers has to stop with the deconstructionist garbage.  DC heroes are even simpler and more straight forward than Marvel heroes.  Superman is truth, justice, and the American way.  Batman is vengeance, he is the night.  They gotta stop over thinking and sucking all the joy out of simple symbols of eternal themes.

    Sadly, just like The Departed, Shape of Water might have been given the Oscar because folks knew Del Toro deserved one for past work.  I think the biggest thing to keep in mind with the Oscars is that all years are not created equal.  Years like 1977 happen a few times per century.

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