Rate the Last Movie You've Seen!
  • @ConsoleHandheldGamer I still want to watch that film, yet all my friends say it was crap. :( Looking forward to when it hits Netflix, haha.

    Gravity - 10/10

    A really emotion, powerful and influential film. I know those descriptions are awfully critic like, but this film really is. If you aren't a fan of Sandra Bullock or George Clooney then this film will make you one! Exceptional performances from both of them. Best use of 3D in a film to date as well. Made me freaking cry at one particular moment. Really inspirational film.
    Noobied by 1sloth
  • Gravity

    Really stunning.  I thought it was just going to be desert island survival taken to the void of near orbit.  Turned out they were just using that as a setting for a far more intimidating existential drama.  Just brutal.  Probably not gonna stick with me forever, but in the visceral moment, this movie will make you cry your little eyes out.

    The Desolation of Smaug

    Way too goddamn long.  It does not come out of the book and goes on and on and on and on.  Only the river barrel scene is exciting, otherwise Peter Jackson is just jerking himself off, writing more chapters to a book he loves.  Hey I wish Smaug had more dialogue in the book too; but Jesus he just talks and talks and talks in the dark and then chases and chases and chases in the dark.  Fuck Peter Jackson and his money grubbing expansion.
    Noobied by 1sloth
  • @westsw

    I actually really enjoyed Desolation :( Albeit, I felt kind of miffed about the "go-pro" shit during the barrel scene, and that sudden ending.
  • Silver Linings Playbook - 7/10

    Basically a well acted film that gets in its way too much. Cooper and Lawrence are both awesome, but there are too many extraneous details that mess this up and prevent it from being a great movie. The sports betting/family drama angle is played for extra tension but it becomes way too much a part of the story. The weird arc of therapist --> Eagles fan --> weird out of place character was pretty lame too. I would have liked it to focus more on just Cooper and Lawrence's characters because they were both fantastic.

    Desolation of Smaug - 6/10

    Basically the same as the first movie. Exciting and funny at times, but it does drag and feel really sort of self-indulgent at others. This whole thing should have been one or two movies. Not three. That said, the dwarves are a good crew (other than not being ugly enough) and Martin Freeman is likeable as Bilbo in the good way that Elijah Wood was as Frodo. The scenery is still killer. The elf healing scene was weird. The scenes with Smaug were too long. It's like King Kong syndrome again.

    Valhalla Rising - 2/10

    So I really like Refn's Drive and Only God Forgives movies, but this (earlier) film of his was practically unwatchable. There was really nothing to sink into here. Characters were blank slates. The colour tone and video style felt like an old 1980s Renaissance documentary from the Discovery Channel. There were words, occasionally, that may or may not have served a point. There was also gore.

    The Devil's Double - 8/10

    This is a movie where basically everyone told Dominic Cooper to let it rip, and did he ever. He plays both Uday Hussein and his body double around the Gulf War period, and while the entire body double story has sort of turned out false, the extravagance and craziness of Uday's exploits are much more well documented. This is just watching a person in real life who flames out in their inhumanity and glitz and glimmer nailed by an actor who didn't get enough coverage for it. Problems include (surprise!) the movie industry brush over of actually trying to portray much of Iraq with respect to its actual 90s existence (I wonder if budget constraints were an issue because there were a ton of clearly British props used). Also about 90% of the dialogue was in English.

    Noobied by 1sloth
  • Lake Placid 3 (TV Movie) (Griff Furst, 2010) *½

    Well, what do you expect from Colin Ferguson and Kirsty Mitchell from Triassic Attack? Nothing. This is one of those guilty pleasure movies if you want to help pass time real fast. The special effects are laughable, the acting is godawful and atrociously over the top, the scenery is boring and uninteresting, but I guess the only thing that made me laugh is the fact that Michael Ironside is in it, and I cannot think of any frame of reference except him as being Sam Fisher.

    Is it better than Triassic Attack? Some part of me says it is. The effects in TA were garbage.
  • Desolation of Smaug: 9/10. Loved it. The animation, acting, music... all of it I loved. Very little I didn't enjoy about it other than it ending.

    As with games, I am hardly ever disappointed, so I'm not one to be too critical.
  • @Slixshot

    The barrel scene was my favorite, I just can't get over that odd..first person POV shot tossed in there.
  • Hunger Games - Catching Fire: 100/10 because FUCKING KATNIIIIIIISSSSS. That ending had me screaming YYEEEAAAHHHH. I love this story so much and the scenes that play out before you are so wonderfully crafted. It's such a brilliant movie to take on because most of the time its just Katniss alone or up close. I reckon it would be so relatively cheap to produce and yet yield such deserved revenue.
  • In Theaters : The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug - 8/10 
    I don't think it was as good as the first Hobbit movie, I can't quite put my finger on why. It is still a very solid middle movie for a trilogy, and i highly recommend it. I'm really looking forward for the third one but I'm not sure what they are going to do with it. You can literally read what's left in the book during the credits of this one.

    Not in theaters: Robin Hood: Men in tights - 9/10
    I don't have much to say other than it is one of my favorite comedies of all time and it still holds up after all these years and viewings.
  • @ness Loved Men in Tights as a kid, still have it on VHS! I feel like watching it now.
  • The Lone Ranger

    Worse than I could have imagined. Not even worth putting on a Netflix queue. Terrible right from the start and long as a death march. This is what happens when the last two PotC movies makes lots of money, despite being awful. The only up side is that I saw it alone. The thought of theater applause would make wish for the death of my species.
  • American Hustle: 8/10. Well acted period piece with a great sense of style. Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence should act together for the rest of their lives. Probably could have shortened up the last act a bit. Really good though, compelling movie.

    In Bruges: 6/10. Moderately funny but somewhat infantile movie. The humour was all over the place. Sometimes it was incredibly clever or successfully slapstick, other times it was both offensive and offensively bad. Nice ambiguous ending.

    Dredd: 6/10. Dumb and loud but exciting and knows what it is. Don't think too much about what the movie is suggesting and just let the style and action carry the film, else you'll probably want to chuck it in the garbage.

    Movie 43: 1/10. A total piece of shit with absolutely no comedic value. I have no idea what anyone involved was thinking. There's like a 10 minute scene with Hugh Jackman having balls hanging from his neck and they use every lame joke imaginable, and still drag it out. I'm not sure I ever laughed. I did gag though.

    No End in Sight: 9/10. Really good documentary on the Bush administration's handling of the Iraq War. The dangers of surrounding yourself with nothing but 'yes men' in any profession is well documented.

    Bo Burnham: what. 2/10. I kind of knew going in that I wouldn't like this, because Bo is a massive douchebag, but I didn't imagine it could be this bad. He relies on too much pre-recorded shit. He's a douchebag, too, since I hadn't mentioned so in a sentence. Opening a comedic act with a joke involving a horrible gay slur isn't a good first impression. His song skits reuse a lot of the same stuff you can fin on his Youtube videos from 8 years ago. Yawn.

  • The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug 8/10 i liked but get to the end already! (Watched it in Holland)

    Ender's Game 7/10 it was ok, can't remember the ending in the book.


  • 9.5/10 Wolf of Wall Street-really good dark comedy with some terrific characters and great writing,easily my favorite movie of last year. cg was pretty terrible though(the ship scene eugh).
    9/10 Her-  A really beautiful romance between man and machine, I thoroughly enjoyed it and has definitely stuck with me as my favorite romance since the silver lining playbook. 

    I'm really trying to bring myself to watch The act of killing and The square but man is it gonna be tough. Also have a friend who's been telling me to watch the Before sunrise/sunset/midnight movies but I'm hesitant to.
    Noobied by 1sloth
  • @Epke How'd you like that horrible 'go-pro' barrel scene? The rest of that scene was perfect, but the quick POV-go pro incident confused me.

    I loved the film by the way.
  • The Lego Movie

    Lots of fun, fast paced and quite funny.  Not as good as Toy Story, much better that Cars, maybe in Train Your Dragon league.  Mixes up animation styles nicely, the voice acting cast is kind of amazing when you stop and think.  It is hands down a better use of Batman than the last two Nolan pictures.  Batman has never been that funny.  It is incredibly true to the theme of legos and manages to surprise towards the end.  I liked it a bunch, although it does not quite enter elite kids movie territory for me.
  • Thor:the dark world                              
    Very enjoyable action movie with a good range of actors,some better than others.The story is pretty basic but as a adventure with alot of really great set pieces, it hit all the right places.In my opinion it could be the best standalone marvel studios film so far.
  • Captain America: The Winter Soldier

    It is a good time, I enjoyed myself quite a bit. Of course, I am a big Marvel guy and pop culture appears to be reading my 14 year old mind. The plot makes no sense when you take a step back. Many Marvel movies feel great in the moment, but the plots do not stand up to scrutiny. It was great to see Redford in a role he does not usually play. I love his last line. Cap has a couple of memorable lines as well. If you like lots of Scarjo cosplay, and I do, you will be happy. The action is top notch, the first car chase had some originality. I liked that they wanted this to be emotionally and politically more complex than the first cap movie. In the comics, cap is not a soldier for the US govt after WWII. Beyond that, they did actually try to change things in the Marvel movie universe. The coherence they have achieved through several movies is impressive. If they can evolve that going forward, that would make me very happy. I certainly recommend this movie. It is another highly competent popcorn movie from the marvel machine.
  • The Amazing Spider Man 2

    Just bad.  Not terrible, not unwatchable, just bad.  Maybe better than Spider Man 3, but I am never rewatching that crap to make sure.  The editing is unforgivable.  The movie has no pacing, none.  Nothing happens for two hours and then too much happens in twenty minutes.  Then there is a denoument that is pointless.  The whole thing ends up feeling like a trailer for the sinister six movie that is coming next.  That movie promises to be really shitty.  This movie can't juggle the characters it has, and you want to add more?  Spider Man 3 was terrible because of too many villians, and you want to double down?

    Spider Man 2 was the peak of movie Spider Man so far.  Who knew Alfred Molina would be the key actor for true Spidey fans?  Looks like the "Amazing" iteration started weak and is point toward crap.  Such a shame, Spidey is one of the greats.  Sony is fucking up.  Warner Brothers has really turned Xmen around and Marvel/Disney is a machine building a film universe that no one has ever attempted the scale of before.
  • The Amazing Spider-Man 2
    I actually really enjoyed this movie. I think people expected way too much from this film, but I enjoyed it. Andrew Garfield is still solid as Spider-Man and helps remove the horrible taste of Tobey's Spidey. That being said I can see some of the complaints, but I enjoyed it. The stuff with Gwen, and Peter was solid and Emma Stone/Andrew's chemistry works well.


  • Django
    I finally got around to watching it, and was in a mood to weather some white guilt. Django delivered. 

    Curse of Chucky
    These movies just keep getting worse and worse. Nothing even tries to make sense now. And plot? Pfft. Who needs that shit?

    Captain Phillip
    Tom Hanks versus Somalian pirates. Real modern pirates by the way, not alcoholics with peg legs and parrots on their shoulders. It was interesting enough but a bit drawn out. 

    Threads
    An old UK docu-movie from 1985 or so about if the Cold War had gone Hot War. The UK is nuked after the Americans and Russians start a fight over Iran. Good movie that doesn't pull punches on just how fucked we'd be. Might be time for a rebroadcast given circumstances. 

    Shaburi Cafe
    5 second Japanese lesson. Shaburu means to suck dick. Imagine a cafe with dicks protruding from the walls, tables, and chairs. Then fill the room with nymphs and lattes. 90 minutes later, roll credits. 

    Speaking of porn, I was watching another Japanese gem in which a chick is forced to drink laxatives, then has a giant syringe full of who knows what shot up her clacker, and then another woman punched her in the stomach until she exploded. I have come to the conclusion that should the heavens rain fire and wipe out humanity, it wouldn't be much of a loss. 

    Movies- 7/10
    Mankind- 0/10 (OK, maybe 1/10, who could possibly hate Tom Hanks?)
    Noobied by 2FirLocke Manio
  • Godzilla 2014

    It is Ok. It tries very very hard to stick to the classic formula. It is an early Toho picture with great CGI instead of man in suit, made by white people. Godzilla as the ponderous king of monsters, guardian of nature, here to protect man but brutally remind him of his folly. It is certainly much better than the first western Godzilla. That piece of crap nuked the fridge before Indiana Jones (that scene where Godzilla chases down the helicopters?). One thing I really like about this version is that they make it very clear that tens of thousands of humans are dying. Just the tidal wave coming ashore kills a thousand. I remember Gamura flicks being bloodier, classic Godzilla always made it seem like the Japanese could completely evacuate anywhere in four minutes flat. Sure people were running and screaming, but they mostly made it. Here not so much.

    If you love classic Gojira, this is as good as it is gonna get. I liked it, but felt like Pacific Rim did everything bigger and better, and really reinvigorated the Kaiju genre. See it if you love Godzilla, but I am totally waiting for Pacific Rim part deax, Pacific Rimmier. Del Toro has totally taken the torch.
  • Timecrimes 2007

    Ok, so I did not see this recently, but I did just notice it is on Amazon Prime, so some folks here can watch it for free, immediately. This is the best time travel movie ever. It is exciting and the writing will blow your mind. The final twist is perfect, as the protagonist suddenly figures out rules that have been making the viewer gaze in wonder in how the writing is maintaining high suspense in a film universe where surprise should be impossible. The only other movie that I can think of that does paradox free time travel writing is Primer, and that movie is just not that fun or fluid. This movie is much more straight forward, but somehow deeper. If you ever loved great scifi, you have to see this.
  • Godzilla 2014

    Relatively pleased with everything. Went in expecting that it'd be more of a set-up film and the featuring of Godzilla would be more akin to earlier Godzilla films. I left the theater happy, and eagerly await the sequel now that it's been greenlit. I really loved this movie.



    8/10




  • X-Men:  Day of Future Past

    I had a great time.  The plot does not make a lick of sense, even the comic was more coherent.  Not as good as First Class or Cap 2, but still quite good.  Quicksilver is just a goofus throwaway in the film, and it almost totally ignores his parentage.  Maybe the Avengers version of the character will be more interesting (although in the legal mumbo jumbo of the films, Disney cannot even use the word mutant, so we will see.)  It is strange that it clearly wipes out X3 from canon.  I actually respect X3, it did not work, but it was ambitious and reached for the brass ring.  This movie's  shortcomings are completely made up up for by the enormous and unbelievable  cast and amazing action sequences.  Marvel is taking over the world.  They can now make films with characters like Bishop as extras they never really explain.  Audiences would have never put up with that ten or twenty years ago.  Thank God Deadpool and Cable did not show up.  Fuck those Scrappy Doo shark jumping motherfuckers.

    Beware Mr. Baker

    This is a documentary on streaming Netflix.  It is staggeringly good.  It is a history and interview of Ginger Baker.  I certainly knew something of Cream, but this just takes it to a whole different level.  The fact he is alive is unbelievable.  If you wrote it as a fiction, no one would believe the Lagos chapter.  Then it goes Bleeding Gums Murphy, which no one would believe, if it were not true.  Instead of "I'd like another Faberge Egg, please."  It's, "I'd like another Polo Pony, please."  It is just bonkers, and true.  It is just a perfect example of a genius so great that he never has to learn to deal with people, since someone would always take him in.  So much talent.  Such an asshole.

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