Cunt Con Controller

There's nothing like moving to your first apartment. All alone , with no one to judge your throaty renditions of Beatle's tunes as you grind to get that Day Tripper achievement. I've been depraved of my gaming time for almost 6 months. I was so eager to get back into the habit that before I even put together my bed or made my first batch of ice cubes I was rummaging through all my crap for my Xbox.

FINALLY!

I can play ultra-violent games without making my 6 year old god baby have nightmares. I can play those games naked as the day I was born without any type of interruption. I could barely plug everything in place my fingers were trembling with delight. Sweet electric entertainment was now going to mine. ALL MINE!

When everything was finally set up , I giddily turned on my TV... NOTHING. I can't remember when I was filled with more instant dread. The power button was lit , but the screen was black, unresponsive. I finally had my 360 to myself with no goddamn TV to play it on.

This is a tragedy.

Its not that I didn't have things to work on, or other ways to entertain myself, its just after watching disgusting man-beast fondle and caress your pride and joy , much how I imagine a porn star's dad feels the first time he sees her on a box cover at the local smuttery, you would expect that the universe would throw me a bone and at least let me get to play my first night . Last night the universe threw me nothing. It laughed at my hopes and tinkled on my dreams- also it ate a lot of asparagus before the tinkling.

Well at least YOU guys luck out. With no TV and hence no games I'll have plenty of time to transcribe my Sexy Gamer Interviews, the first two will be lifelong gamer and adult model Misty Dawn


and Peter Le fitness expert and fitness model.